These last couple of weeks have been a beautiful haze. The moment we left the hospital our whole world changed. All along, I knew I was growing a little person inside of me but it didn’t become real until I saw his little face. I couldn’t believe that we had created something so beautiful. That moment everything changed.. no longer was it just my husband and I, we now had a little baby boy who depended on us to fulfill his needs. A little human who craved comfort and love from the only beings he knew-mommy and daddy.
THE FIRST DAYS
I have to admit, the first couple of days out of the hospital were the toughest. As most of you know, I have quite a lot of experience with the little ones. I’ve been in the early childhood education field for a very long time. However, dealing with your own child is SO different. Everything I knew and believed in went out the window. All I wanted was to give my little boy all the love he needed, regardless of what anybody had to say. As for my husband, he was completely new to the whole baby world. The first couple of days, I had to show him how to do all the basics like feeding our baby and changing his diaper. Which, I didn’t mind showing him how to do things at all. However, I wasn’t fully capable of showing him a whole lot. I was in so much pain from my c-section that getting up was a tough task on it’s own. Sadly, I felt useless the first nights and the only thing that kept me sane was knowing that eventually it would get a lot easier.
By the first two weeks my husband and I had already established a nightly routine. I would get a couple hours of sleep in the evening while he would stay up with the baby. I would get up with the baby during the first night feedings and my husband would do the last two feedings before going into work. Eventually, my husband asked for family leave and things got a lot easier. Things are now A LOT easier. If my husband notices that I’m too tired to get up then he takes care of the night feedings. Other nights when my husband is too tired to get up then I take care of it. I got to say, we make a great team! We quickly learned that working together and letting each other rest was going to make our lives as new parents a lot easier!
MOMMY UPDATE: POSTPARTUM
The easier it got for us, the more and more I started to feel like myself. As I mentioned before, the first couple of days were horrible. I felt useless and a little sad that I wasn’t able to nurture my little one as much as I wanted to. I felt off balance and insecure about my body. Which to be honest, had a lot to do with the emergency c section. Healing took a lot longer than what it would of taken if I have had a natural birth. If you’ve ever had a C-section then you are very aware that the first couple of days feel like a train ran over your body. I needed a lot of help getting out of bed and even holding my baby was difficult at times. After my incision was fully healed I felt a little bit more normal but not quite like my old self. (like before pregnancy) Honestly, I don’t think I”ll ever feel like my old self ever again. I feel so different from before and I’m finally adapting to this new me.
Julius is the silliest and cutest baby in the world. I know all babies are cute but the way that he looks at us with his huge eyes that seem to be filled with curiosity is just the cutest thing ever. It completely melts my heart when he rests his tiny head on my chest. He is starting to wake up less during the night and stay awake longer during the day. Julius has also recently discovered that he can take off his mittens with his mouth. My husband and I make jokes on that because he always seems to have only one mitten on. We call him Little MJ. (Michael Jackson) He also started making the cutest little “googoo gagaga” noises and I just can’t handle how cute it is. It is so amazing watching him discover new things everyday. He is filled with curiosity and I hope he never looses that urge to wander.
I’m not going to lie motherhood is tough. It is a wonderful and life-changing time in a women’s life but it isn’t always rainbows and butterflies. The beginning of motherhood is by far the hardest thing I’ve ever experienced. There are moments when all I really want is just five minutes to myself. I’m constantly caring for a little human which can be very draining and frustrating at times. There are also times that I can’t remember the last time I’ve ate or what day of the week it is. Apart from all that, motherhood is such a beautiful blessing. It opens your eyes to a different kind of love- the most purest and genuine love of all. Even though there are moments when I just want to hide in a closet I am soaking in this roller-coaster ride. I want to soak in all the good, silly, tough, and heart warming moments. After all, we know our baby Julius won’t stay this small forever so my husband and I want to enjoy every minute of it.
P.S What was the hardest moments you experienced during the first month as a new parent? Comment it down below. . I would love to know!